So, yesterday morning my sister sent me a instagram post that an editor at Sports Illustrated posted.. She was in her bikini talking about what she modeled. I instantly fell in love with her post. It takes balls to put a bikini on and post it on your public instagram page when you aren’t comfortable with yourself, especially when you have 120,000+ followers! She was encouraging women of all shapes, sizes, and colors to put their bikinis on and tell us what they model.. absolutely brilliant. So kudos to her!
Right after I watched her inspirational video, I instantly went to my closet and pulled my bikini drawer out.. Mind you, this drawer is in a little dresser I have facing the wall so I can’t even get into it without pulling it away from the wall. I keep all my old bathing suits in there… This draw is my dark place.. It houses all my brazilian bikinis that I used to put my pretty pre baby body into! So, needless to say, I kind of HATE this drawer.
I so badly wanted to just throw a bathing suit on, set my computer up and just record a quick video.. little did I know, it was not going to be that simple.
I closed my eyes, shoved my hand into my drawer and picked a bikini top.. I grabbed the matching bottoms and put it on. I was already feeling nervous, even though I was alone in my closet with my two children, my heart was racing. I didn’t even really love myself in a bikini before I had my children. I tied my hair up into a clip, and turned all my lights on and stood in front of the mirror… I was expecting to see a seriously terrible sight, I was preparing myself to hate what was staring back at me. But, I was surprisingly okay with the way I looked (rare feeling). I felt good in that bathing suit(also a rare feeling).. It was a little snug, but I felt decent. Which was extremely surprising, because I was expecting a full force breakdown.
I got my computer out, and set it up in my bedroom on my bed. I pulled the camera up to record my little testimony. As soon as I saw myself on my computer camera I was like oh hell no! I cannot post this on social media, this is a mess..
Then, I thought to myself lets just record one video and see how it sounds, and see how it looks! So, one video turned into probably 35 videos! I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get it out.. I knew I didn’t look great but that was the whole point of doing this. I waited until my husband got home to show him what I recorded and he thought it was amazing.. he’s easy to please! I thought they were all terrible.. so I deleted them all and started again.. after maybe 20 more videos I just picked one..
My untouched up mom bod in all its glory in my white bikini posted on my public instagram page. with 7,000+ views and 67 loving comments on my personal page, and 17,000+ views on Health magazines’ instagram page, I am so happy that I got the courage to post the video! I am beyond happy that so many women could relate to it, and find a little love for themselves through me and my experiences.
So to all my readers! check out the #loveyourswinsuit campaign, share what you model for, even if you feel like crying when your getting your bathing suit on! your experience will help other women, your experience will let others know that they are not alone.. and that is one of the best things in the world ❤
Thanks for taking the time to read